The Fury of the Turtle Hermit

       It was a warm, sunny day at Kame House, and Master Roshi was sitting in his lawn chair, basking in the glorious boredom that was his life. Nearly thirty years had passed since young Krillin and Goku left his teaching. He supposed they thought that they had nothing else to learn from Kame-Sennin, that compared to themselves, he was what everyone thought he was, the old, perverted Turtle Hermit who used to be a powerful warrior, but now was just a beach bum who would be destroyed if he stepped into the ring with the likes of the Z fighters. How mistaken they were. During all that happened, the Sayains, Buu, Cell all of it, he just sat there. Not because he couldn’t do anything, because he wanted his students to. Studying under the Kame-Sennin was not just a two, three-year experience, it was a life-long thing. It was a way of life. Master Roshi was not 350, he was over a millennia old. He trained King Kai, for the love of God. Mutaito didn’t just teach martial arts, he taught immortality. “Mutaito,” sighed the old warrior, “God, I’ll never get over it.” The image of his old master still caused a pang of grief in the Kame-Sennin. “Fucking Crane, didn’t even show up for the funeral.” Master Roshi watched the electric blue sky, remembering that death was not the end. As he watched the shadows of the palm tree dance on his orange shirt, like clouds over a canyon, he considered going out and showing his students his real power, the true glory of the martial arts which he had not seen in any of his pupils. He sank deep into thought, and decided that the time was right. He sat up with a groan, “ I’ll show those kids what a true warrior is, and they’ll call me Master again.” He tied his shirt and went into the house. As he was, changing, he heard a loud crash outside. He emerged in his famous get-up. Orange shirt, blue pants, and a giant, purple shell on his back. As the screen door screeched shut, he saw what made the noise. There stood Goku, Krillin, Piccilo, Gohan, hell, everyone standing there. But there was a difference, all the Sayains were in SS4 form, and everyone of them had a strange red glare in their eyes. Goku spoke, “Kill the geezer.” Gohan rushed forward. His head burst like a melon as Roshi’s fist punctured his skull. “Okay,” Roshi growled, “COME GET SOME!” This was going to be fucking awesome.